Saturday, November 12, 2005

Mail Call: Your Deepest Fear

Last Thursday I took my 40-year old sister to the hospital for surgery on her vocal cords - throat cancer. I share that detail with you because if you're reading this, and you smoke, I'd like to remind you that you're killing yourself. Don't think you're not. And don't get all fussy with me, I'm not telling you anything you don't know. Besides, I know what it's like. I'm an ex-smoker - quit in 1998 and still view it as the BEST thing I ever did. We are still waiting for her results but the surgeon told me he was "guardedly optimistic" that they got it all and she won't need additional treatment or lose her ability to speak. Bullet dodged? I hope so.

During the two hour drive to the hospital she was understandably nervous about the operation and I asked her if she could talk about what exactly scared her. From there we began talking about the things we are afraid of. I mean really afraid of - the things that terrify us. We really couldn't come up with much. We came up with a lot of things we don't like; she hates roller coasters, I'm not wild about bats; but very little that consumes us with fear.

My biggest fear is of tornados. I have no idea why - I've never even seen one except on film. Since childhood though I had tornado nightmares - until one night about twelve years ago when I had a tornado dream in which I wound up in the center of the twister. I have not had one since. Still, they terrify me. Even strong winds get me a little nervous.

But I asked myself, what else? I mean, c'mon, I know I am not that courageous to only be afraid of tornados. There must be more. I wondered as we drove for a while in silence, maybe we are too afraid to speak about what we are truly afraid of. Maybe giving it words scares us. Or maybe admitting it to someone else does.

So I am asking - what are you afraid of? What terrifies you? What keeps you awake or makes your skin crawl? What do you dread?

Send a postcard of the one thing that most frightens you. No deadline.

Deepest Fear
PO Box 147
Pawlet, VT 05761


At 9:31 PM, Blogger Cindy N. said...

I happened up on your blog through a bunch of roaming around. One of the things I am most afraid of....terrified! is cockroaches. The flying kind. I have an uncontrollable fear that they will fly and get on me. I can't even LOOK at one without just about loosing my cool. My biggest fear, however, is having to bury either of my children. That is unnatural and I surely don't want to have to do it EVER.


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